Caravan Diary, Day 25

Right, tonight for the very first time in all these weeks I am afraid. Afraid that this relentless rain might finally wear our 70s trooper down. 'Cos if it does, we do have a problem!... I am lying here and not only am I listening to a thousand-fingered drumming of the raindrops on the roof. No, I am also hearing a suspicious drip-drip-drip somewhere. I have been trying to work out where it's coming from, but so far to no avail. I am praying that this is good news, although I'm not yet entirely convinced...

Caravan Diary, Day 24

I really wish we would at last get a handle on this bleeming dust!!! Day 4 without anyone generating any fresh dust and we're still nowhere near winning the battle. Although, Willem obviously thinks it's ace: everywhere I look I find that he has written his name with his finger.

Caravan Diary, Day 23

Picnic with toys

A bank holiday weekend characterised by good intentions, zero follow through, fabulous weather (against the odds!) and sheer indulgence. All's well in the Schäfer household :-)

I can report that the loft is now empty. Cleared by two nice young blokes; one quiet and one trendy, who went about their business efficiently and still spent a good two hours until the job was done! Both seemed as bewildered by the large selection of beheaded Barbie dolls as we had been.

I got five whole hours of child-free bliss on Friday night when I went to the Stratford Comedy Festival with Kedi. I haven't laughed as much since we saw Dave Gorman at the Warwick Arts Centre yonks ago. It was brilliant! The evening was gilded with nice dinner afterwards. What else can a girl ask for?

The highlight on Saturday must have been the SKY engineer's visit. Not only can we now enjoy an unbelievable choice of channels (which I am sure we will never fully explore. I am usually happy enough with BBC1 and 2 and Channel 4...) and have a clever SKY box thingamejiggy, no: bribed by constant supply of chilled apple juice, he also ran what feels like several hundred yards of extra cable into the bedroom, which means my planned sewing/craft corner will have entertainment of the audio visual kind. The guy was also super-good with Willem and involved him in the setup by letting him terminate cables etc. He felt like a proper grown-up :-)

This is the life!

Sunday was spent almost entirely in our garden enjoying the unexpected sunshine. We must have left the house for something, but it's just a very hazy memory which must have got wiped by the copious amounts of Pimm's and lemonade that accompanied our barbecue in the evening.

Mats - very happy with his ball

And then there was today, which was under the zodiac of boys' toys: Hendrik went out and bought us a lawn mower, which was duly tested and deemed more than adequate. And then we scoured Coventry's shops for football goals for Willem, which we were just about able to try out before the weather turned chilly. We are all fantasizing about a summer party now, at which we can have an inaugural little tournament. Does anyone know when the weather's going to be good in July/August?

The list of things we DIDN'T do this weekend, despite best intentions, is long and includes stripping the wallpaper in the staircase and hallway and fitting the newly procured carpet in our caravan (I decided to give the local economy a boost on Friday by buying an offcut at the little carpet store round the corner. £30 to do the whole camper. I say!).

Whatever! There's a whole week without tradesmen ahead of us, who have all disappeared since it's half-term. Surely Mats will sleep at some point so I can get on with yet more wallpaper stripping?...

Hausbesichtigung - House slide show

Hier ein paar Bilder vom derzeitigen Stand der Dinge auf unserer Baustelle.
Ich mache jetzt keine langen Worte, Mücki will dringend mit mir Fussball spielen...

Well, not so sure whether I can make this a slideshow, as I have not tried that before, but a few photos from the construction site that is our house at the moment.

 Essecke - dining area

Vorderansicht - street view

 Vergissmeinnicht - Forgetmenot border

 Wohnzimmer - Lounge (viewing towards dining area)

 Kueche, vom Flur aus - kitchen viewed from hall

 Flur zur Haustuer - view of hall and entrance door

 Flur und Treppe - hall and staircase

 Treppenabsatz oben - landing

 Schlafzimmer und Gaestezimmertuer - Towards master bedroom and guestroom

 Gaestezimmer - guestroom

 Gaestezimmer - guestroom

 Schlafzimmer - Master Bedroom

 Schlafzimmer - Master Bedroom

 Schlafzimmer - Master Bedroom

 Kinderzimmer - kids' bedroom

  Kinderzimmer - kids' bedroom

 Garten vom Kinderzimmer - garden view from kids' bedroom

 Superwanne - Walk in bath

Mmmmh Spinatgruen! - Spinach green bathroom suite, grrreaat, a keeper!

 Windfang - Porch

 Car port

Hinten Anbau - Side view of extension

Haus vom Garten aus - back elevation

 Garten - garden

 Potting shed

 Fussballwiese - footy pitch

Front-'garden'

Caravan Diary, Day 19

Day 19, the lowdown:

• TVs arrived by courier, ready for UEFA Champion's League Final on Saturday: 1
• LNBs for satellite dish retrieved from unknown box ready to be installed tomorrow: 0
• Lofts cleared of all the previous owners' belongings (including a dozen or so beheaded Barbie dolls – WTF?): 1
• Times taken the washing back inside because of rain: 5 (or more - I lost count after 3...)
• Gas fitters visited to look at job: 1
• Gas fitters who previously visited having quoted for job: 0
• Door handles in place: 4
• Rooms skirted out: 2
• Plasterers lined up for week after next: 1 1/2 
• Appliances killed: 0 
• Husbands back at the fort and instructed to babysit tomorrow night: 1

Pretty good for one day, don't you think? The lost LNB bugs me, though. That must have ended up in storage accidentally. B***er!

Today feels like it has been half-way successful. Mainly because I kept myself out of harm's way and because Mark The Builder showed up for a flying visit and managed to arrange for a schedule of works that includes possibly (!!) having 2.5 rooms ready to decorate in about two weeks' time. Yayyyy! Can't wait!!! Painting a wall sounds like a day at a spa these days compared with peeling off flipping wallpaper that's been painted with gloss. And what's best is that this implies that we can begin to unpack our most-used belongings AND sleep in a house as soon as these rooms are done. Which is just as well, because last night was really freezing in the caravan! I kept waking up with icy feet trying to decide whether I can be bothered to go back into the kitchen to heat up my wheat cushion. Turns out I couldn't be bothered, which meant I just lay there getting more and more annoyed. So there, I am not the most rational of minds when in bed. Nothing new there then...

Hendrik came back from his NERC grant panel thing with hayfever and insect bites and suitably knackered, but duly agreed to deal with the kids-in-caravan-at-bedtime-drama on his own tomorrow night while I sit in my hopefully comfortable seat at the Royal Shakespeare Company watching stand-up comedy, followed by a lush meal and drinks with Mrs Simpson. Bliss! Which reminds me that my make-up bag is still AWOL. I REALLY cannot wait to unpack all these stupid boxes!! I have been running round like something the cat dragged in for weeks now and I don't even care anymore. But still, it would be nice to at least don some lippy tomorrow. Well, I guess I still have 20 hours to hope for a minor miracle...

By the way, this might be the one time that I am SERIOUSLY enthusiastic about a UEFA Champions League final*: I have been trying to wangle a TV for my planned sewing/craft corner out of our household budget for absolute ages to no avail. But as it happens the SKY man (or woman) is coming on Saturday morning to install SKY TV (for free. Long story. You really don't wanna know. Suffice it to say that we're way too tight ever to pay for subscription TV!). Which happens to coincide with the Champions League final. And our existing TV is in storage. I leave you to fill in the blanks :-)


*Those of you who know me well will know that I am an avid follower of Bundesliga football - but the delights of the Champions League - and worse: international friendlies!! - so far escape me.

Caravan Diary, Day 18

Aaaaaaaaaargh, the dust everywhere is driving me insane!! Everything in the house is coated in a layer of orange masonry dust. It is literally everywhere. on our belongings, on my tongue, in my throat. It cakes up my hair and most of the day I run around with glasses I can't see anything through, because there's a thick coating of dust on the lenses. I can't wait for this first stage to be over! I know there'll be a second stage which'll probably get even dustier, once the walls come out - but at least that'll feel like such massive progress that I might not mind so much (??) or we might be able to contain the dust more, because it's going to happen in two very distinct areas which hopefully can be shut off from the rest of the house. But the bleeming wires are being channeled into the walls ALL OVER...

Right, I haven't dared confess, yet, that I plumbed in the washing machine the other day and - wait for it - nearly killed it in the process. That's what you get when you get über-confident. You become stupid. Just like me, when I forgot to check whether the transport bolts were still stuck in the machine before turning on the inaugural wash. Well, turns out they were. Darn! You have never ever heard such a racket and seen your washing machine positively skip across the kitchen floor, I bet! I ran to it and threw myself on top at the same time as pressing every single button the thing has in order to make it stop before it would tear off it's leash (aka electric cable!). It did stop with the cable still in one piece - but it didn't switch on again afterwards. So I faffed about helplessly, then did the typical woman thing of having a secret little cry, then tried to call Hendrik to confess that we'd have to find £1200 for a new washing machine. Thankfully, he didn't answer the phone. Turns out that all this trying to get the drum to spin has made the machine take out the RCD. Our friendly electrician Dave found me in the caravan about an hour later to tell me he'd reset it and did my internet work again :-) This is becoming a familiar theme. Maybe next time I "kill" an appliance I will remember to check the fuse board AND reset the RCD. Anyway, Hendrik is still blissfully unaware of the full extent of my stupidity and panic (I DID mention that plumbing the machine in hadn't been straightforward, but I somehow skimmed over the detail) and seems duly grateful that laundry can again be dealt with on site.

In other news, I am waiting for more quotes from gas fitters for the boiler move (ouch!! That's going to be more expensive than we've allowed for in the magic spreadsheet!) and apparently tomorrow is the big day when we can take possession of our attic sans previous owners' trash. Hurrah! I just need to make sure they ONLY take previous owners' trash and don't 'accidentally' manage to take any stuff of ours. I shall report tomorrow how that went. Night, night!

Caravan Diary, Day 16

Apologies for not feeding you all a daily update yesterday: I was completely defeated! Although we did have a very nice afternoon. Katherine, Samuel and Jamie came to visit and to give us the thumbs-up on the new house. To be fair, the caravan seems to have been the main attraction. Much fun was had by all devouring pancakes for dinner in its kiddo corner. We also demolished a fair bit of cake and managed to exert ourselves kicking a football around on the little Common between our street and the school. Obviously the kids weren't nearly as knackered as us grown-ups...

After team Denby-Smith had left, I thought I better get on with stripping more wallpaper. Only the steamer stopped working after I'd not even finished the first wall. It took me ages until I realised that it had only tripped the RCD and by that time it was nearly half past eleven - far to late to get onto the staircase ceiling as previously instructed by Dave the electrician. We went to bed with everything looking like a complete mess. How Hendrik managed to clear most of it and empty our bedroom of stuff so Dave could work in it this morning is a mystery to me...

Still, Hendrik owes me one! No kidding! While I was dealing with two ratty boys at bedtime in a painted-cardboard-for-walls caravan within very easy earshot of all the new neighbours, he was having a meal out as a work do (AND he's going away overnight on Wednesday, again for work). I might be imagining things, but it did seem tonight like we're beginning to attract funny looks. Probably because so much of our lives is inevitably played out on our front lawn.

Anyway, as a kind of reward for managing to keep expletives to a minimum tonight (and I do hope those that did escape me were said under my breath!) I think I shall take myself to the Stratford Comedy Hullabaloo on Friday to see Ed Byrne. Anyone fancy joining me?

In other news: the staircase ceiling and our bedroom now have shiny new downlights (actually, shiny they ain't: they're brushed nickel). And the door handles have arrived. I can't wait for Thursday, when the carpenter is back to fit them. Some privacy in the bathroom will finally be restored!

Caravan Diary, Day 14

It is amazing how much difference a little bit of friendly company makes when one has to get on with unpleasant tasks! Corinne and Tim helped us tackle the boys' bedroom (aka "the blue room") this afternoon. As a result, there is hardly any blue wallpaper left. Unfortunately, a lot of the plaster came off with it, so this one is going to be an expensive fix. Shame! But at least it's nearly done, despite being a real motivation killer. Tomorrow the staircase awaits. That's most probably going to be an even worse job. Thank goodness Katherine, Sammy and Jamie have promised to rescue us in the afternoon by distracting us with afternoon tea. Willem is so excited about showing them our new house that he made meticulous plans today, bless him!

Caravan Diary, Day 13

 Day 13, the lowdown:

- new door bells procured: zero
- loads of washing done and dried: two and a half (thank you so much T&C for letting us use your house as a launderette!! We shall endeavour to finally plumb in our own washing machine this weekend!)
- bird feeders filled and hung up: three
- new doors fitted (NOT by myself!): four

I am slightly tipsy writing this. In fact, both Hendrik and I are ever so slightly tipsy. I just learnt that that is by far the most pleasant state to be in while stripping wallpaper. Such a shame we had to stop so as not to annoy the neighbours at this hour. I could have gone on for hours without realising what a mindless task it is...

In other news, the previous owners have agreed to send someone to clear the loft and garage. Success! And Willem was back at nursery today which means my sanity has had a chance to recover. Only one child on hip for most of today. Very relaxing! (You guys must be beginning to think I am one of these Earth Mother types who are glued to their children 24/7. NOT THE CASE! The only reason I am carrying children around a lot of the day rather than letting them get on with their stuff on the floor is that there is no floor in large stretches of the house. Many of the floorboards are up or at least loose for Dave to do his wiring thing, and there are nails and screws EVERYWHERE which means that there just isn't anywhere safe for the kiddos to play. And as some of you may dimly remember I already have one tick against me with Social Services. I really don't fancy another conversation of 'that kind' with the Health Visitor...)

Caravan Diary, Day 12

Well, well, well, we're finally back in the 21st century! Broadband is connected and we even have a landline phone. Amazing! I can now actually look at builders' quotes without needing to get my magnifying glass out. Wicked!

The first lot of new internal doors arrived this morning and apparently the carpenter is going to spend all day tomorrow fitting them. And we're having skirting boards in two of the bedrooms. Not that that was particularly high on my list of priorities, but it seems our builder has been delayed on another job and thought he'd do us a favour if at least we saw some progress on other fronts.

Tim and Corinne might be rocking up to give us a hand again on Saturday and, while I can't think of anything nicer, I am slightly apprehensive, as it'll become very apparent just how little progress we have made since they were last here. All I can say is: sick children. I really don't know how on earth to get on to wallpaper stripping and hole filling with a baby and a toddler who both seem glued to my hips.

In other news: our new road is really growing on me. Not only have we now met several of our neighbours and all of them without exception have heartily welcomed us to the neighbourhood. No, we also have just discovered an alleyway leading from almost opposite our house to a football-field-cum-mini-playground and further onto the primary school. Ace! Ah, and then there is the lady riding her horse down the street. Two sightings of her so far. Curiouser and curiouser...

Caravan Diary, Day 10

The British Summer has finally arrived. It has been raining cats and dogs all day. Our feet now make squelching noises when we plod across our front lawn from caravan to house and back, and we can sometimes hardly hear each other over the drum roll of the raindrops on the roof of the camper. The whole camping experience is suddenly very authentic - and not in a good way! It wouldn't be that bad if the kids weren't this whiny. It's seriously hard to keep them entertained and distracted from their various malaises when all you have to work with are 6sqm. All I long for is beds AND a table to be up at the same time. Am I being overly demanding?

Caravan Diary, Day 9

Sick children and caravan life don't go together. You can't have a bed out for your poorly preschooler at the same time as having the table up for a decent cuppa/meal/working on project spreadsheets.
What kept me from losing it completely today was some decent catch-up with my girlies in the afternoon (I hope I kept my little tykes far enough away from your lot so as not to spread the lurgy!)

What's really nice about living in our own driveway, by the way, is that we've got a panoramic view of our new road. It's a bit like sitting in an oversized bay window. We're quickly picking up on the habits of our neighbours and can tell who belongs to which car/house.

Nothing more to report. Just still desperate for the BT man to come and connect our broadband and phone (note my priorities!) to take us back into 21st century. Apparently Wednesday's the day!...

Caravan Diary, Day 8

Right, our bedroom is now finally cleared of all traces of manky wallpaper. Am I imagining it or is it actually smelling a bit less?? 

Willem is a bit ill, so he was allowed to watch DVDs most of the day, while we tried to get on with stuff. Astonishingly, he aborted Toy Story several times in favour of jigsaw puzzles. Only snag: he doesn't like doing them on his own. On the one hand that's really sweet. I like nothing better than doing jigsaws with him. On the other hand we really could have done with longer productive slots. Thank heavens Korjian, our lovely neighbour from Princes Street, popped in for a couple of hours for a tour of the house and to entertain Mats, which helped a lot!

Not much else to report. I just hope Willem is fine again tomorrow so he can go to nursery...

Caravan Diary, Day 7

Willem drumming away to 'Bridge Over Troubled Water'
on Radio 2. Slightly peculiar sound combo!

Today was odd. The kids and I had a lie-in which meant by the time we had tidied away the beds and had breakfast it was nearly midday. At least we nearly got our bedroom stripped of the hideous dark red flock wallpaper, in no small part  thanks to Alison's kind loan of a wallpaper steamer. Hendrik has been working away at it almost all day. I did what I could, but this whole DIY thing is so difficult with two kids tugging at my shirtsleeves. That's possibly the greatest challenge/frustration. I see all these things that I want to work away at, but always seem to have a hungry baby on one hip and a bored pre-schooler on the other. Arghhhhhhh!

In other news, we just found that the horrible people who sold us the house have left the attic (BIG space!) full of junk. Together with the furniture in the garage that we found on day one it's at least a skipful of old stuff that we'll have to get rid of. Bastards! They better hope that I never find out where they live! I'm in a good mind to just dump it all on their front lawn. WITHOUT the bin bags it's currently in. Oh yes, and the oven's not working. So no pizza anytime soon. I'll have to ask Dave, our tame electrician, to have a look at it next week. I'm just  annoyed that we spent a good three hours cleaning the darn thing before we checked it's working. That was super-stupid. Lesson learnt, I hope.

Team Schäfer tonight after well deserved curry. Caravan still smells a bit,
but how much better is this than the smell of stale nicotine in the house!

Caravan Diary, Day 6

As I write this, heavy rain is drumming on the roof of our camper and we still haven't found any leak. No real wood to touch in here, so my skull will have to do... I can't believe we found this slightly dusty gem on eBay :-) If only I didn't have that overpowering urge to get the sewing machine out and knock up some more attractive curtains and seat cushion! But we can't afford the distraction...
In other news, the roofer who was meant to start this week is still AWOL. How do people make a living if they're so unreliable??? Oh yes, and the gas fitter was here to quote, and what can I say: it always costs more and takes longer. So true, even for the tiniest of projects! Am amazed myself, really. I would have expected I'd be tearing my hair out at this stage. But still no histrionics. Let's hope I can continue to channel zen in the weeks ahead.

Caravan Diary, Day 5

Serious progress: we now have lights in the bathroom thanks to our lovely electrician Dave. No more showers in the dark. Major relief! Also, we have finally managed to level the caravan, so we're no longer sleeping on a slope AND the door shuts without us having to bang it loudly. I bet the neighbours are all sending a silent prayer of thanks heavenwards tonight.

In other news, I have single-handedly mended the broken sink and plumbed in the dishwasher. All in all a good day.

Caravan Diary, Day 4

The 3 Schäfer boys early morning

First rain and so far no obvious leaks, woohoo!! The boys think all this 'camping at home' malarkey is a hoot. Can't see Willem ever agreeing to breakfast inside a proper house again. I, on the other hand, can't wait!! Much as I like this camper, life's a bit of a struggle...